Following my bath on Saturday, I have been declared a "hairy beast". Absolute bloody insult if you ask me. I'm apparently going to be clipped this week to "smarten me up", which is fine, because I've been told that a very smart new waffle-rug has been ordered to keep me warm in the shed when my coat comes off.
The posh twat has been giving me huge amounts of grief for being small and hairy, but what I've not told him is that according to Sid, the shed cat, the fat posh twat is also getting clipped to make him shiver off some of his fat. Sid knows this, because Frank (who lives down at the house and is best mates with Sid) got told by Miss Lily Whiskers who got told by Floss, who overheard Helen telling Huw that she wanted to clip Jeitoso this week because he can then start doing some work.
Got to love the farm grapevine.
Don't forget to insist on sparkly gel for your Princess Mane!!
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